marriage advice | from an undergraduate

Apr
27

The husband and I are just about at the 4 year mark. Even though we haven’t reached graduate status yet, I like to think that we have a pretty good relationship.

People always say ‘kiss before you go to bed’ and ‘never go to bed mad’ — blah blah blah. That doesn’t always happen in a stubborn person’s world. I have found a whole new realm of advice that has worked for us:

1. Laugh, everyday. This is the number one thing I completely love about my husband. He is THE funniest person I know. He makes me laugh every single day on repeat. And when I laugh, he laughs. And I love to watch him laugh.

2. Fight, often. It means you’re communicating. When you don’t fight, you’re holding it in. In no world is that better in the end.

3. Compliment, every now and then. A compliment doesn’t have to happen every day. When it happens unexpectedly, it’s a pleasant surprise and sometimes gets a better response. My husband and I have these things called BTS’s — behind the scenes. These are moments when you can’t tell them how you are feeling or what you are thinking right at that moment, so you tell them later on when you remember. “Honey, remember when we were at dinner the other night with our friends and you got up to go to the bathroom? I couldn’t stop staring at your butt thinking about how much I love you.”

4. Hug, more. I have a problem with this one because I’m not an affectionate person. But 95% of the time, one of the partners needs this. I’m trying to be better at hugging everyday, because in the end, it makes him happy. And I love to see him happy.

5. Balance, always. Good balance equals a good relationship. He grocery shops + I cook. (When we first bought our house, I told him grocery shopping was against my religion and it’s always worked…) He does the laundry + I fold it, and so on. It works for us.

So dance in the kitchen, cuddle and watch Prison Break for hours on end, laugh at each other until you pull a Ginny, just do what works for you. But don’t forget it. Write it down and look back and remember it. Marriage is hard – but if it was easy, it wouldn’t be worth it.

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Want to see more pics of our wedding? The Knot just published them over here! (4 years later, but hey — it’s okay in my book). Do you have anything that you have learned? I would love to hear it!

Love, Megan.

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